Holidays
by Mulderette
Summary: The team experiences both the sadness and joy of the holiday season. ***Contains spoilers for the end of Season 8 and vague season 9 spoilers. Note that I've also chosen to ignore some characters and events of season 9 to fit in with how I wanted to write this. Also, each chapter can stand alone as its own completed story, Thanksgiving and Christmas.
1. Thanksgiving

_Thanks to Bluenet13 who came up with the idea to put this and the upcoming Christmas and New Year's stories under one umbrella. I think its a good idea. The Thanksgiving chapter couldn't be more different from last year's Thanksgiving story which was pretty light-hearted and very silly lol. In any case, I hope you like it and I wish a very happy holiday to all of you who celebrate it. :)_

xxxxx

Sam fidgeted nervously as he sat in the hard plastic seat at the airport. Callen contemplated his partner for several long moments with a look of amusement on his face. "Come on, Sam, what are you so nervous about? It hasn't been that long since you've seen her."

Sam smiled, looking slightly embarrassed. "I don't know, G… Kamran is just growing up more and more each day. I guess I'm afraid one of these days she'll step off a plane and I won't even recognize my little girl anymore."

Callen smiled. "The key words there are 'little girl.' She's always going to be that to you, Sam, no matter how old she gets."

Sam nodded. "I know that, but, even so…" He cocked his head as the voice over the intercom announced that Kam's flight had landed and the passengers would be disembarking shortly. "Come on, G," he said to his partner. "Let's go meet my little girl."

xxxxx

"Daddy!" Kamran screamed as she ran to her father and threw her arms around him.

Sam picked her up and hugged her tightly. She still greeted him with the same level of excitement she always had since she had been a tiny toddler, every time he had come in the door. He had to admit, it never failed to make him feel like he was the most special dad in the world. "Hey baby girl, I've missed you so much."

"I missed you too, daddy." Kamran smiled as she pulled back from him and then went to Callen. "Uncle Callen, I'm so glad you're here. I've missed you too."

"And I've missed you, Kam," Callen said as he embraced her. "It's good to see you. How do you like Stockdale?"

"I love it," Kamran enthused, her eyes shining. "Of course I miss everyone back here, but it's the best school. We have so much fun. But you know that. I see that you always like my Facebook posts."

"I do like them. I was just wondering if you study too while you're there?" Callen asked. "Or is it all just fun and games?"

Kamran laughed. "You're so silly, Uncle Callen," she said. "Of course we study, but we have fun too. We can't study all the time."

"No I don't suppose you can." Callen nodded in amusement. Kamran was definitely a typical teenage girl. He glanced at his partner and saw how happy he looked as he watched and listened to his daughter. He was really glad Sam's kids were going to be home for a few days. It was just what Sam needed, to spend some quality time with his family.

"What time is Aiden going to be here?" Kamran asked. "I can't wait to see him."

Sam looked at his watch. "Not for at least another hour or so. Why don't we go and get some lunch. You can tell me and Uncle Callen all about your adventures at Stockdale."

Kam nodded, and began chattering happily as she went off with her dad and his best friend.

xxxxx

"I hope our moms are okay today without us today," Kensi said, looking a little bit worried as she put the finishing touches on her makeup.

"They'll be fine," Deeks said reassuringly. "They're going to get to talk about us nonstop, which is their favorite thing to do. Anyhow, if they weren't fine, they would be coming with us to Hetty's. It's not like our moms are shy and Hetty did invite them."

"I think they understood why it was important for us to have Thanksgiving as a team this year," Kensi said. "Anyhow, Callen's dad isn't coming either."

"Does Callen even know where his dad is?" Deeks asked, giving Kensi a curious look. "He rarely mentions him."

Kensi sighed softly as she shook her head. "I don't know…I don't want to bring it up if it's going to make him feel bad."

Deeks nodded. As far as he had seen so far, Garrison hadn't tried very hard to make up for lost time with his son. "In any case, we're going to have lots of family Thanksgiving dinners in our future. The purpose this year is to make things as easy as we can for Sam and the kids."

Kensi nodded in agreement. She agreed that Sam, Aiden and Kamran should be their main focus over this holiday season.

xxxxx

"Happy Thanksgiving, Sam." Callen had just boarded Sam's boat and came up beside his partner who was standing quietly as he looked out at the water.

"Hey, G," Sam looked at his partner, his eyes sad. "Happy Thanksgiving."

Callen put his arm around Sam's back and patted his shoulder affectionately. "Are the kids down below?"

Sam shook his head. "They went for a walk along the beach. They should be back soon."

"How do they like the boat?"

"They like it," Sam said, "Although I'm not really sure they understand why I did what I did…I guess that's to be expected though." Both his children had now entered totally new phases of their lives. He had done what he needed to do to survive the loss of his wife. He hoped they would fully understand his decisions someday.

Callen nodded, his blue eyes compassionate as he watched his friend carefully. He could only imagine how difficult this day was for him. "So…how are you doing?" he asked quietly.

Sam was silent for a few long moments before he shrugged and turned towards Callen, his eyes filled with tears. He didn't even bother to try to hide them from his partner anymore. Sometimes the tears would fall unexpectedly and keeping them hidden wasn't worth the effort, especially from his best friend who he knew understood his pain and grief more than anyone.

"I'm sorry, Sam," Callen said softly. "That was a stupid question…I know how rough this day must be for you…for the kids too…"

"It's not a stupid question G," Sam said. "The kids seem okay…at least outwardly anyhow. Either that or they're trying to be brave for me. I know they worry about me and I hate that they do, but it is what it is, I guess. Family members are always going to worry about each other. It comes with the territory." He turned and smiled at his partner. "But you know that, don't you? You're a member of my family too."

Callen returned Sam's smile, but there was sadness behind it. He could see the pain behind every word Sam spoke. He just wished there was something he could do to help him, but knew that only time could heal some of Sam's wounds and others might never heal.

"I keep thinking about past Thanksgivings," Sam stated, his attention once again on the ocean. "Especially when the kids were small…I still have vivid pictures in my mind. Michelle was always such a loving mother. Then, I think about some of the dishes that we'll never have again. The certain way she made her sweet potato casserole and her stuffing. She was going to teach Kam how to make a turkey this year…that's a memory Kamran will never get to have now…It just…it really makes me sad, G…It really does…" He turned his head back towards his partner and looked at him thoughtfully. "Did you have some nice Thanksgivings as a child, G?"

Callen considered the question for a few moments. "I mean, if you're talking about the whole turkey dinner thing, yeah, I had some good ones. It just wasn't the same for me, Sam. I didn't have a consistent family. Every year, I spent Thanksgiving with different people in different places…it didn't really start to have meaning for me until after Hetty took me in…and when I started spending the holiday with you and your family…" He decided not to mention the one Thanksgiving he had spent in the children's ward of a hospital when he was eight. He had needed surgery for a badly broken leg, the result of a drunken foster father and a rickety set of basement stairs. It had actually been a pretty terrific holiday, probably his best as a child. The nurses and aides had put forth a supreme effort to make the day nice for him and the other unfortunate hospitalized children. He had been showered with attention and had had quite a good time. He really didn't think Sam would understand that though.

"I guess traditions change over time," Sam said with a sad sigh. He wasn't sure if this year would be the first in a line of a new regular tradition or if it was just a brief stepping stone until he and the kids figured out how to celebrate holidays in the future. He did know that he was grateful to his team for taking them under their collective wing this year and hopefully making the day a good one, or rather, as good as it could be under the circumstances.

Callen nodded and put his arm around Sam's upper back once again. There really were no words that could help Sam with what he was going through. For now, he would just silently support his partner and be there if and when Sam needed him.

xxxxx

"Oh this place smells heavenly, Hetty," Deeks said, sniffing the air in approval as he followed Kensi into Hetty's Dovecote home. "We brought some wine," he said, handing her two bottles. He knew that Sam and Callen were bringing pies and Eric and Nell were bringing some hors d'oeuvres and cheese and crackers to munch on before dinner.

"Thank you very much, Mr. Deeks," Hetty said as she accepted the wine with a smile. "Ms. Jones and Mr. Beale are in the living room.

"Can I help you with anything, Hetty?" Kensi asked.

Hetty shook her head. "No, no dear. Everything is well in hand. Why don't you and Mr. Deeks go and join the others." Kensi nodded and she and Deeks headed to the living room.

"Happy Thanksgiving, Nell, Eric," Deeks and Kensi said in unison.

"Happy Thanksgiving," Eric and Nell echoed back.

Deeks immediately made his way to the appetizers. "So, is Callen coming with Sam and the kids?" he asked as he loaded up a plate with cheese and crackers.

"I think so," Nell replied.

"Callen's been keeping a very close eye on Sam these days," Eric interjected.

"That's what best friends are for," Kensi said softly. "I'm sure Sam is terribly lonesome with Michelle gone and his kids away at school."

"Holidays can be tough under the best of circumstances," Deeks said. "I can't begin to imagine how Sam feels this year."

"Well, we're here for him, whatever he needs," Nell said.

"At least he'll have his kids home for Christmas break," Kensi said. "That will help."

They all nodded, their minds on Sam and his family, hoping they would have at least a little bit of well-deserved peace and happiness over the holiday season.

xxxxx

"Happy Thanksgiving, guys," Callen said with a smile as he walked into the living room followed by Kamran, Aiden and Sam. Callen made a beeline towards the hors d'oeuvres. "Those look really good," he said, putting a couple of them onto a small plate.

Happy Thanksgiving greetings echoed throughout the room as Aiden followed Callen and fixed himself a plate of hors d'oeuvres and cheese and crackers. Sam sat down on an unoccupied loveseat and Kamran took a seat next to him, sticking closely to her father's side. After a few minutes, Kensi walked over to them and sat down beside Kamran.

"Hi Kam," Kensi said, giving her a friendly smile. "How is school going for you?"

"It's going really well," Kamran said, smiling back at Kensi. "Of course, I really miss daddy and… well everybody."

Kensi nodded understandingly. "That's only natural. You're always going to miss people you love when you're away from them, but it will be time for Christmas vacation before you know it."

Kamran nodded. "Yes, that's true. Though, Christmas is going to be weird this year, having it on a boat."

"You don't need to worry about that, Kam," Callen said, joining the little group. "Your dad and I are going to have that boat looking beautiful for Christmas, all decked out with lights and decorations. I won't be surprised if it's the prettiest boat at the marina."

"Really?" Kamran asked, her eyes brightening as Callen nodded.

"Most definitely," Callen replied, giving Sam a questioning look with his eyes. He was gratified to see his partner give him a nod and a slight smile. He knew the holidays were the last thing Sam wanted to celebrate this year, but with the kids, he needed to at least try. Callen knew he was going to do everything he could to make Christmas as good as he could for his best friend and his family.

At that moment, Hetty walked into the living room. "Mr. Callen?" she called softly. "Could you give me a hand in the kitchen please?"

Callen nodded and put his plate down on the coffee table. "Of course, Hetty," he said, following her out into the kitchen. "What do you need?"

"Could you take the turkey out of the oven for me?" Hetty asked.

Callen nodded and quickly did as she asked, placing the turkey pan on the countertop to cool. "Mmmm…that smells delicious," he said, inhaling deeply. "I can't wait to dig into it. So…I can take the stuffing out if you'd like."

Hetty gave him an amused look. "The stuffing always was your favorite part of the meal."

Callen looked back at her with a smile, his blue eyes innocent. "I'm just trying to be helpful."

"You can help when it's cooled for a bit," she said, unable to resist smiling back at him. Sometimes he still reminded her of that young boy she had taken in so many years ago. Her expression then turned more serious. "So, tell me, how is your partner doing?"

Callen sighed as he mulled over the question for a bit. "He has his ups and downs," he answered thoughtfully.

Hetty nodded. "Well, that's to be expected, especially over the holidays."

"I know," Callen said with a nod. "I'm trying to be there for him as much as I can."

"And you're doing a very commendable job with that," Hetty said.

"I'm trying…I know how much he misses Michelle. I promised her I'd look after him, which of course I'd do whether or not I had promised her that. You know how much Sam means to me."

Hetty nodded understandingly. "And how much you mean to him, as well."

Callen nodded, knowing what Hetty said to be true.

"And how are Aiden and Kamran?"

"I think they're doing well," Callen said honestly. "Both of them are exceptional students. Kam seems to have adjusted to being away very nicely. She likes Stockdale a lot."

"And that's a very good thing," Hetty said, "although I'm sure it makes things more difficult for Sam."

"Of course, he misses them on one hand," Callen said. "But on the other hand, he's so proud of them and this is what he and Michelle wanted for them. It's just…" He suddenly felt choked up and overwhelmingly sad for his partner and the loss he had sustained. He, himself, still found his emotions would get away from him periodically when he thought about what had happened to Michelle. Most times, he was successfully able to keep his sadness hidden from his partner though, wanting to be strong for him.

"You miss her too," Hetty said, looking at Callen compassionately.

Callen nodded. "Of course I do," he said. "But this isn't about me, Hetty. It's about Sam."

"And you don't think you should share your feelings with him," Hetty said observantly.

"Sam knows how I feel," Callen said, starting to look uncomfortable with the direction of the conversation.

Recognizing Callen had never been one to readily talk about his feelings, Hetty decided to back off. "I think we can get a bowl and a spoon now and you can begin to scoop out the stuffing," she said, gratified when she saw Callen's very real smile.

xxxxx

After a little while, Kamran went off with Kensi to talk with Nell. Seeing that Aiden was having a spirited discussion about video games with Eric, Deeks decided to join Sam. "Hey, Sam…how are you doing?" he asked, taking a seat beside the other man.

"I'm good, Deeks, you?"

"I'm good…getting hungry for some turkey," Deeks said with a grin.

Sam nodded and smiled, albeit a smile that didn't appear particularly happy.

"Your kids look great," Deeks said quickly, not wanting Sam to enter a place of sadness if he could help prevent it. "Kamran's liking her new school?"

Sam nodded. "Yeah, she likes it a lot."

"That's good, that's good," Deeks said. "It must be good to have them home for a few days though."

"Yeah…it is. I've missed them."

"I know you have," Deeks said, his eyes filled with sympathy. "But you're a good dad, Sam…A lot of fathers out there would have held Kamran back after what happened. You didn't though. You do what's best for your kids. You should be proud of that. I hope, if I get the opportunity, that I'm half the father you are."

"I'm sure you will be, Deeks," Sam said, more than happy to have the topic of conversation to switch to Deeks and his future as a father. "Just the fact that you want it puts you a step ahead of the game. When the time is right, I'm sure you and Kensi will be terrific parents."

"I hope so."

"Well, unless there's something I don't know," Sam said, a smile on his lips, "you've got time. It's nothing you need to worry about now."

Deeks nodded and inwardly he knew he would try very hard to model himself after Sam if and when he and Kensi were blessed with children. God knew, there was absolutely nothing in his own father that he would ever use as a model. He looked up as Callen appeared back in the living room. "Hey guys, come and get it," Callen said. "Dinner is ready."

"Did you eat all the stuffing?" Sam asked his partner with a grin as they headed towards the dining room. He well knew just how much his partner liked that particular dish. Michelle had always been amused by it and had often commented to Sam that she had no idea where Callen put all the food he ate on that particular holiday.

"You wound me, Sam," Callen said, grinning back at his partner. "Besides, Hetty watched me like a hawk. I only managed to get a couple of spoonfuls."

"Well, somehow I don't think you'll starve," Sam said as he patted his partner's back fondly and they continued on their way.

xxxxx

Everyone gathered at the dining room table and Hetty requested that they all hold hands as she said grace. _"Dear God, we are thankful for this chance to gather together and share in the food and fellowship of this day. Thank you for all the blessings you have given us. We also share a void with those who are no longer with us and especially Michelle who was taken from our family this year. Please be with Sam and his children and help them along the way, but know that we feel Michelle's presence strongly and know that she is still here with us."_

"Thank you, Hetty," Sam whispered, tears in his eyes as Hetty brought her short prayer to its conclusion. There were tears in the eyes of almost everyone at the table, but they were all inwardly glad that Hetty had chosen to acknowledge Michelle's presence, as she was still very much a part of their inner family.

With that, everyone dug into the large feast on the table. There was turkey, stuffing, gravy, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, green beans, carrots, corn, cranberry sauce and hot buttered rolls. Deeks, Callen and Aiden put away impressive amounts of food and it was hard to tell which of them had eaten the most.

"Man…that was outstanding, Hetty," Deeks said as he leaned back in his chair and patted his stomach contentedly. "I'm stuffed."

"Really, Deeks?" Kensi asked with a teasing smile. "I wouldn't want you to go home hungry."

"No danger of that," Deeks said, smiling back at her.

"I'm pretty full myself," Callen said. "You outdid yourself, Hetty."

"Well, I'm very glad you all enjoyed the meal," Hetty said with a pleased smile. "And now, why don't we go back into the living room to give our stomachs a bit of a rest before we enjoy our dessert."

xxxxx

After a dessert consisting of assorted pies and other sweets, the men took on cleanup duty, leaving the women to enjoy each other's company as they sipped on Hetty's special blend of holiday tea. "So, did you have a nice day, dear?" Hetty asked Kamran who was seated between her and Kensi on the sofa.

Kamran nodded as she sipped on the hot chocolate with whipped cream which Hetty had made especially for her and Aiden. "Yes, thank you. It was a very nice day."

"I'm glad," Hetty said. "Your father is always telling us how well you and your brother are doing in school. He's very proud of both of you."

Kamran nodded. "I want to get good grades so daddy will be proud..." She took a sip of her hot chocolate and hesitated before going on. "I'm just worried about him…I know he's really sad without our mom. Sometimes…sometimes I think I shouldn't have gone away to school because he's lonesome and that maybe I should just come home and go back to my old school."

"You shouldn't think like that, Kam," Kensi said, breaking into the conversation. "Your dad wants very much for you and your brother to go to the schools of your choice. He wouldn't want you to be worrying about him."

"And Kam, we make sure to watch over your daddy," Hetty said. "Especially your Uncle Callen. He takes very good care of him."

Kam nodded, a faint smile on her lips. "Uncle Callen and daddy are like brothers."

"They are like brothers," Kensi said. "And the rest of us are always there for him if he needs us as well. So you see, you don't need to worry about him. I think it would make your dad very sad if he thought you were worrying to the point that you were actually thinking of not staying at your school."

"I probably wouldn't leave my school," Kamran said, a thoughtful expression on her face. "I don't want to make daddy unhappy."

"You're a good girl, Kamran," Hetty said, patting the girl's hand. "That's exactly what I like to hear and I know it's what your father wants as well. You keep on working hard and diligently at school and leave your father to us. We'll be sure to take very good care of him."

"Thank you, Hetty," Kamran said with a relieved-appearing smile. "I'm so happy that daddy has you all in his life."

xxxxx

"So…that was a nice time," Deeks said as he steered his vehicle in the direction of his and Kensi's home.

"It was." Kensi nodded in agreement. "I think Sam and the kids had a pretty good day considering, don't you?"

"I do," Deeks said. "It was hard though…seeing them like that, without Michelle…it really brings it all back, you know?"

"I know…Sometimes you could just feel the sadness surrounding them, but I don't think there's any way to avoid that, Deeks. In time, things will get better for them but for right now…"

"For right now…I don't think any of us have really gotten past what happened…" It was still so easy for him to get caught up in the horrible events of that day and the very real grief that had been displayed by Sam and his family at the wake and funeral. He only had to close his eyes to see it all again, each memory of those days vivid and heartbreaking.

"It really hasn't been that long, babe," KensI said, lightly putting her hand on his arm. "And if it still affects us…I can only imagine how much it still affects them…All we can do is help them with whatever they need…"

Deeks nodded. "Definitely…anything we can do to make things better for them…I'm definitely in favor of that."

xxxxx

"You sure you don't want to stay over tonight?" Sam asked.

Callen shook his head as he smirked at his partner. "I think you've got yourself a bit of a full house, Sam." He took a sip of his beer and looked out over the water. "Besides…I think it would be good for you to spend some time, just you and your kids…"

"I don't believe you, G…" Sam said with a chuckle. "I think you're just heading out to do your Black Friday shopping."

"You've got me, Sam," Callen said. "That's exactly what I'm going to do, the second I leave here, but seriously…" he tilted his head back and drained the last bit of beer from his bottle, "It is getting late. I guess I should get going."

"Okay," Sam said. "Thanks for everything, G."

Callen gave Sam a bit of a confused look. "What are you thanking me for, Sam? I didn't do anything."

Sam put his hand on Callen's shoulder and patted it gently. "You've been doing it consistently G…ever since the day I lost Michelle…You're constantly giving me what I need…you're always here for me and…and I appreciate it."

Callen shook his head, his eyes sad as he looked back at his partner. "Hetty said something earlier that…I don't know…"

"What?" Sam asked, noting Callen's obvious sadness.

"She said…she said I should tell you how I feel…about Michelle…"

Sam shook his head, a trace of a smile on his lips, knowing the trouble G sometimes had relaying his feelings. "I already know how you feel, buddy," he said quietly, starting to get a bit choked up. "I know you loved her as much as she loved you. You show me that in your actions, G…you don't need to tell me in words." He then reached for his partner and pulled him into a heartfelt hug, his hand resting on the back of Callen's head for a long moment before he released him. Callen quickly swiped the back of his hand over his eyes as he stared down at the deck, trying to quickly recover from the unexpected flood of emotions.

"Call me when you get home, G, let me know you got there safely…or at least send a text," Sam requested softly.

"What?" Callen asked with a slight smirk. "Really, Sam? You're serious?"

Sam nodded solemnly. "I'm very serious…just… just do it for me, G, please?" It had been an emotional day and perhaps he did feel more worry and concern about his partner's well-being than he generally would, but he figured he had every right to feel that way.

Callen noted his partner's demeanor and knew that for him, it was no joking matter. "Okay, Sam…I will," he said softly. "I'll call you when I get home."

Sam nodded and smiled. "Thank you, G…"

"You're welcome, Sam. I'll talk to you soon." Callen then headed off the boat and started walking towards his car. He could feel Sam's eyes on him and turned to wave before getting into his car and heading away from the marina. As he drove, he could feel tears brimming in his eyes and he allowed them to fall. He couldn't help but feel for his best friend and his children and all that they were going through. They meant everything in the world to him and he had every intention of continuing to do his best to help them as much as he could. Christmas was on its way and if it was at all possible, he was going to do whatever he could to make it a good holiday for each member of the Hanna family.


	2. A Family Christmas

_Thanks so much to those of you who were nice enough to read and leave a review for the Thanksgiving story. I hope you enjoy this one as well :)_

xxxxx

Sam sighed heavily as he stared at the boxes of lights and decorations that Callen had gotten for him. Sam had nixed using any of the family's regular decorations, which he had put away into storage. Although he had donated most of the furniture and belongings from their family home, he had made sure to store things he thought would be meaningful for Kamran and Aiden one day as well as some things which personally meant a lot to him. To use the decorations this year though would have been much too painful.

"Good morning, Sam," Callen called out as he walked down the stairs to the below deck level of Sam's boat. He then handed Sam one of the cups of coffee from the tray he was carrying.

"Thanks, G," Sam said, appearing distinctly unenthused.

Callen gazed at his partner as he tried to figure out the best way to handle this situation. He had been nagging Sam since Thanksgiving about decorating the boat, sometimes subtly nudging him, other times being downright annoying as he practically forced the issue. So far though, Sam hadn't expressed much of a desire to partake in any celebratory activities. Not that Callen blamed him, but he also knew he needed to do it, maybe not for himself, but for Kam and Aiden. Finally, he decided that just taking action was the best strategy. Without saying a word, he picked up some of the boxes of lights and headed back up the stairs with them. However, once he got up on deck, he looked around uncertainly, having no idea where to start. He had been stupid enough to open up his big mouth telling Kamran how terrific the boat was going to look and now he had no idea how to accomplish that. He also needed to get a tree. He had thought Sam would go with him to pick one out, but now he realized he shouldn't have made such an assumption. Maybe he shouldn't have been so pushy. He had thought he was being helpful, but now realized he had been anything but that.

Callen was just about to forget the whole thing and head home when he heard his partner's voice. "Those lights aren't going to go up themselves G…let's get to work."

xxxxx

After working steadily for most of the morning and a trip to the store to buy more decorations, the boat was really beginning to take shape. For Callen, this was the first time he had ever really participated in a big Christmas decorating project such as this one and it was giving him quite a feeling of accomplishment. "It looks pretty good, doesn't it Sam?" he asked as he paused to take a break and take a good look at their handiwork so far.

A smile touched the corners of Sam's lips as he glanced over at his partner. Knowing Callen's past history the way he did, his friend's efforts to make sure the holidays were good for him and his kids meant a lot to him. He really did appreciate it, even though personally, he just wasn't really feeling the spirit this year. One of the things, Michelle had loved to do, was ride around in the car, looking at lights and holiday displays. They had done it often as a family or sometimes just he and his wife on their own. Now, all it took was to see a particularly striking light display or hear one of the Christmas songs that Michelle had loved, for Sam to feel like a hole had ripped through his heart and bring tears to his eyes.

"Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!" The familiar voice of Deeks brought Sam out of his reverie as he and Callen looked over at the other end of the boat to see Kensi and Deeks bringing an exceptional-looking tree onboard. Callen quickly ran over to help.

"Hey Deeks, how did you know?" Callen asked quietly as they moved the tree to where they thought seemed like a good place for it.

"Kensi and I drove by here earlier today," Deeks said. "We saw you guys working on the decorations, but didn't see a tree. We thought we'd save you the hassle."

"Thank you," Callen said, glancing over at Sam who was talking to Kensi. "I don't think going to pick out a tree was something Sam was ready for this year." That was something Sam had always done with his family. He, himself, had never undertaken that particular task on his own and he appreciated not having to do so this year.

"Whatever we can do to help," Deeks said, his expression serious. "You know that, Callen. And speaking of that, have you guys had lunch yet, because we have pizzas in the car."

Callen's eyes lit up. "Pizza sounds great, Deeks. I'll walk over with you to get them." Sam and Kensi were still talking so he called over to them. "We'll be right back!"

Sam and Kensi watched as Callen and Deeks headed back to the car then Sam turned back to Kensi. "Thank you for bringing the tree…It was really nice of you to do that."

"You're welcome," Kensi said as she met Sam's eyes. "So…how are you really doing?"

Sam sighed then shrugged. "I don't know…everyone seems so happy this time of year and for me…I just want to get it over with so I don't have to think about it anymore."

"I don't think anyone would expect it to be any different for you Sam," Kensi said softly. "Of course you're not going to be bubbling over with Christmas spirit."

"Still, I do want the kids to have a good Christmas…well, as good as they can have under the circumstances anyway. I feel bad for G. He's been twisting himself inside out, trying to get me to decorate the boat, and I've been resisting every step of the way. The thing is, I do want to do it for the kids, especially for Kamran, but I just haven't been able to get myself to follow through, not until today anyway."

"You know Callen doesn't mind," Kensi said. "He just worries about you. You're his best friend."

"I don't want him to worry," Sam said, his eyes sad.

"But you know he's going to," Kensi said. "What if the situation was reversed? Wouldn't you worry about him?"

Sam nodded, a smile touching the corners of his lips. "Of course," he stated. He'd worried a lot about his partner over the years. Now, not so much, but it wouldn't take much to bring that worrying all back to the forefront. He still didn't want G worrying about him though. Hopefully, the new year would be a better one than this one had been. He was more than ready to put 2017 behind him.

"Pizza delivery!" Deeks shouted out as he and Callen returned to the deck. "Are you two talking about me?"

"Oh yes, Deeks. That's exactly what we're doing," Kensi said, turning to smile at him. "You're just so fascinating. How could we talk about anything or anyone else?"

"That's what I thought," Deeks said with a grin. "How are you doing, Sam?"

"I'm good, Deeks," Sam replied. "Thanks for bringing the tree and the pizza."

"It was no big deal," Deeks said.

"To me it was," Sam said softly, looking a little big emotional. He was quickly able to pull himself together though. "You guys want some beer?" he asked. "I'll go get it."

After a lunch filled with light-hearted banter and a lot of laughs, Kensi and Deeks proceeded to help Callen and Sam with the rest of the decorations. By the end of the day, when they turned on the lights to inspect what they had done, the four of them were more than a little bit blown away.

"Wow…" Callen finally said as he looked at the colorful, but tasteful display of lights which adorned Sam's boat.

"This looks good," Deeks said admiringly. "Really good."

"It's beautiful," Kensi commented, leaning into Deeks as he put his arm around her.

Sam didn't speak. His emotions were all over the place. He was happy that his children, especially Kamran, would get to enjoy this, but heartbroken when he thought of his wife and how he would have liked her to have seen it too. Honestly though, he knew if Michelle was still with them, their holiday would have been very different. They would have still been in their family home, decorating the tree together, eating Michelle's traditional holiday dishes and Christmas treats, and just enjoying the season and each other's company. This year was going to be very, very different.

xxxxx

"I thought you were going to decorate the boat?" Kamran's eyes were filled with disappointment, practically on the verge of tears, as she, Sam and Aiden approached it. As far as she could tell, it was just about the only one on the marina without some form of decoration. It was cloaked in darkness and she thought it looked dismal and depressing. "Do we have to stay here tonight?"

"Where do you want to stay?" Sam asked in amusement. "With your Uncle Callen?"

"Did he decorate?" Kam asked, looking hopeful.

Aiden snickered. "Do you really think Uncle Callen decorated?" he asked.

They were now very close to the boat and suddenly it started to light up, a section at a time, until the whole boat was a dazzling picture of lights, the best in their section of the marina by far.

Kamran's mouth opened wide and her eyes shone in awe and delight as she gazed up at the beauty of Sam's boat. "Daddy…It's perfect," she finally said.

Just then, Callen was looking down at them from behind the railing. He waved, a big smile on his face. "I didn't decorate my own house," he said, looking down at Aiden, "but I did help with yours."

"Hey, Uncle Callen," Aiden said, grinning up at him. "Did you do all this?"

Callen laughed. "By myself? Are you kidding me? Of course not."

The family made their way onto the boat and Callen hugged both children. "It's good to see you guys," he said.

"I missed you, Uncle Callen," Kamran said, holding onto him tightly. "The boat looks so pretty, just like you said it would."

"Well, your dad, Kensi and Deeks had a lot to do with it," Callen said. "They worked very hard to make this boat the prettiest one here."

"I love it," Kam said happily.

They went below deck and chatted for a bit before Callen decided to let the family have some alone time. "I'm going to head on home, Sam," he said. "You guys have a good night. I'll see you on Christmas Day."

"Bye Uncle Callen," Kamran said, hugging him once again. "I love you."

"Love you too." He hugged Aiden and then Sam walked down with him to where his car was parked. "You okay, big guy?" Callen asked.

"I'm good, G," Sam said with a nod. "Just wanted to thank you, once again."

"No thanks necessary, Sam," Callen said. "I just want you and the kids to be good. Enjoy the next couple of days with them and I'll see you Monday. You know where I am if you want to talk."

"Thanks G, I do."

The two men hugged briefly before Callen got into his car and headed home.

xxxxx

"You okay, baby girl?" It was almost midnight on Christmas Eve and for Sam, the whole day and night had been filled with emotional ups and downs. He came up beside his daughter who was standing by the railing looking out at the water. She turned to him and he could see the tears streaming down her cheeks. "Oh baby, come here," he said and Kamran buried her face into his chest. "It's going to be okay," he soothed as he kissed the top of her head. "I promise you, it will be."

"I just…I miss her so much," Kamran said, between sobs.

"I know you do. I do too, more than you could imagine."

He hugged her for a little while longer before releasing her. "I hate that this happened," Kamran whispered, her attention on the water.

"I know you do. I wish I had the power to change it, but I don't."

"I know you don't, daddy," Kamran looked up at him lovingly as he put his arm around her shoulders. After that, they just stood there silently as they continued to gaze out over the peaceful harbor. Finally, Kamran shivered under the night chill and Sam spoke.

"Why don't we try to get some sleep," he suggested. "I think tomorrow is going to be a nice day."

Kamran nodded. "I think you're right, daddy," she said softly. "We should try our best for that to happen."

With that, the two headed back down below, making an effort to be extra quiet as Aiden was already asleep.

xxxxx

Unlike Thanksgiving, which had been spent at Dovecote, Kensi and Deeks had decided to host Christmas dinner. They didn't want Hetty to have to do it again and Callen's house was just too impractical. He would have had to go out and buy furniture just to host the holiday. In any case, Deeks was an excellent cook and his and Kensi's moms were all too eager to help with the festivities for the day.

The doorbell rang and Callen and Hetty came into the house, with Callen carrying a bag of presents. "Merry Christmas," they called out as they entered the living room and hugs were exchanged with Kensi.

"Please sit down," Kensi said and the two took a seat on the sofa. "Can I get you something to drink?"

Callen quickly shook his head. "I'm good, Kens."

"I'm fine also, Ms. Blye," Hetty assured her.

A few minutes later, the doorbell rang again. "I'll get it," Callen called out since Kensi had gone into the kitchen to join Deeks and their mothers. He went to the door and found his partner and his children standing behind it. "Hey guys, Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, Uncle Callen!" Kamran hugged him tightly, a smile on her face.

For his part, Callen was just glad to see that she looked happy as did Aiden who he hugged next. "Merry Christmas, Uncle Callen.

Callen looked at his partner who had a trace of a smile on his lips, but his eyes looked sad. It made Callen sad to see it, but he knew there was really nothing more that he could do. It was only natural that Sam and the children would be grieving Michelle's loss. It was just something they were going to have to go through.

"How are you doing, Sam?" he asked his partner as the two hung back while Aiden and Kam went into the house to greet Hetty.

"I'm getting by, G…you know…"

Callen nodded. He really hoped that this day would help make the holidays a little bit brighter for Sam and his kids. The two walked into the living room and Hetty greeted Sam. "Merry Christmas, Mr. Hanna."

"Merry Christmas, Hetty," Sam said as he leaned down to kiss her cheek. He then put down the bag of gifts that he was carrying.

"Hey everyone, Merry Christmas," Deeks said as he came into the living room. He was wearing a brightly colored Christmas apron and his hair was a little bit more disheveled than usual.

"Working hard, Deeks?" Callen asked, looking amused.

"Just making sure this is the best Christmas dinner any of you have ever had," Deeks replied with a grin. "Speaking of which, I'd better get back, but I just wanted to say a quick hello."

"Do you need any…" Callen began, but he was speaking to Deeks' back as the detective had already headed back to the kitchen. "help?"

Sam chuckled. "What were you going to help him with, G?" he asked, "burning something?"

Callen tried to think up a suitable retort to what Sam had said, but he was at a loss for words as the sad truth was Sam was right.

"I used to try to teach him to cook when he was a boy," Hetty interjected into the conversation, a fond smile on her face as she remembered back. "But sadly, he had no interest and I'm afraid not a lot of talent in that particular area."

"Hey," Callen said, unable to keep the smile off his own face through the teasing. "I can cook some stuff."

"What can you cook, G?" Sam asked. "A can of soup?"

"No…I…" Callen tried to think of something more skillful but remained at a total loss. "Let's talk about something else besides my perceived lack of culinary talent."

They moved onto other topics of conversation with Callen and Hetty striving to keep the topics light and 20 minutes later, Deeks called out that dinner was served. There was a roast beef and a ham, scalloped and mashed potatoes, asparagus, pan-roasted vegetables with spinach and hot rolls.

"Well, Mr. Deeks, I must say, I had no idea of your culinary prowess," Hetty said after the meal had ended. "That was as delicious a meal as I've had in quite some time."

The others echoed their praise for Deeks' cooking and he looked uncharacteristically abashed as he just ducked his head and said, "thanks everyone."

"Marty always liked cooking, even when he was just a little guy," Roberta said, looking at her son proudly.

"Don't even say anything, mom," Kensi cautioned, laughing as Julia laughed too. "Not everyone can be a great cook."

"I guess there's only one per partnership, right G?" Sam said, grinning at his partner.

Callen rolled his eyes good-naturedly, but in all honesty he was glad to see that Sam seemed to be having a good time and was at least getting a brief respite from the heaviness in his heart.

xxxxx

After dinner, it was time for presents. Gifts were exchanged with the team surprising Hetty with a set of beautiful Chinese figurines which they had all chipped in for. "It's also from Eric and Nell," Kensi explained as Hetty admired the delicate pieces. Eric had gone with Nell to visit her family for Christmas.

"It's lovely. Thank you all very much," Hetty said.

Other gifts were exchanged, mostly things like gift cards and the like. There was just one special gift, which was being saved for last, which the team was looking forward to and which Sam knew nothing at all about. "Sam?" Callen said when the last traces of wrapping paper and ribbon had been picked up.

"Yeah, G?" Sam looked at his partner in confusion as Callen passed him a large envelope.

"This is from all of us," Callen said. It wasn't even just the team. A lot of Sam's friends and colleagues at NCIS had contributed towards this gift with Sam being so well-liked and respected at work. "It's for you and the kids."

"What is it?" Sam asked, looking dumbstruck.

"Open it daddy," Kamran said excitedly.

"Yeah dad, that's how you find out what it is," Aiden said, grinning at his father.

Sam looked around the room and saw that all eyes were on him. Slowly he tore open the envelope and pulled out a bundle of papers and tickets. "Wh…" The first thing he pulled out were three airline tickets to New York City, leaving on December 27. "I don't understand…"

"There's more there, Sam," Kensi said, gently.

There was much more, hotel reservations at the Marriott Marquis through New Year's Eve, tickets to the Radio City Christmas Spectacular which had Kamran squealing in delight, as well as tickets to see the New York Knicks which had Aiden looking particularly excited. There were gift cards for restaurants and tickets for Madame Tussaud's and a site seeing tour of New York among other things. "I…I don't know what to say." Sam teared up, totally overwhelmed by such generosity. "You shouldn't have," he whispered. "It's too much."

"It was a lot of people, Sam…not just us. There's a card there signed by everyone who helped," Callen said softly. "And you and the kids…you deserve it. A lot of people wanted to do it. You're a pretty popular guy at the office."

"Just accept it, Mr. Hanna," Hetty said. "If not for you, for the children. They seem to be very much in favor of the idea."

Sam looked at his kids and he realized he hadn't seen either of them look so happy or excited since before the death of their mother. He nodded as he hugged them both and looked around the room at his friends who were much more than just friends. They were family. "Thank you," he said, totally choked up by the gesture. "Thank you so much everyone."

xxxxx

"Mr. Hanna, may I speak to you in private for a moment?" Hetty gestured to Sam and he followed Hetty to a spot in the kitchen where they could be alone.

"What is it, Hetty?" he asked.

"It's about the gift. I was the one who made all the arrangements, and I just wasn't sure…"

"Wasn't sure about what, Hetty?" Sam asked, looking at her in confusion.

"I didn't know what would be best. If you would want to take the trip alone with your children or if you would want someone to accompany you."

"But…there are only three tickets," Sam said.

"Four," Hetty corrected him.

"Four?" Sam repeated.

"I have the other tickets, Sam. No one knows about them except Eric and I and he has been sworn to secrecy. Also, except for the Radio City show and the basketball game, most of them are refundable."

Sam still looked confused and he stared at Hetty blankly.

"Mr. Hanna," Hetty explained patiently. "I am giving you the option to have your partner accompany you on the trip. However, he knows nothing about this, so if you would rather be alone with Aiden and Kamran, that is perfectly fine and he will know nothing about this."

"Oh daddy, please let Uncle Callen come."

Sam turned around to see his daughter standing there. "Were you eavesdropping, Kamran?" he scolded gently.

"No." She shook her head vigorously. "I mean, yes, I guess I was, but I didn't really know I wasn't supposed to hear."

Sam sighed as he turned back to Hetty who was smiling. "Sorry about that."

"It's fine, Sam," Hetty said. "Just think about it and let me know your decision."

Sam nodded and watched as Hetty went to join the others. "Can you go get your brother?" he asked Kamran. She nodded eagerly and hurried off, returning with Aiden only a few moments later.

"What's up dad?" Aiden asked.

"Hetty told me that there are extra tickets in case we wanted to invite someone to come with us."

"He means Uncle Callen," Kamran said in an exaggerated whisper.

Aiden smiled. "That's fine with me."

"And me too!" Kamran said. "Should we go tell him?"

"Wait," Sam stopped her before she went running back to the others. "Are the two of you sure about this? I just… I don't want you to think he has to come with us. Family time is important too."

"Isn't Uncle Callen family?" Kamran asked.

"Well, yes, but…you know what I mean."

"Even mom said Uncle Callen was family, dad," Aiden said quietly.

Sam gazed at his oldest son for a few moments and then nodded. "Your mom was right. Uncle Callen is family."

"Can I tell him?!" Kamran asked, barely able to contain her excitement.

"Yeah, go ahead," Sam said, "But he may have plans for the week. I don't want you to be disappointed if he can't come." He was pretty sure G didn't have plans, but he didn't want his partner to feel like he had to do this either.

"Uncle Callen! You get to come to New York with us!" Kamran ran back into the living room and everyone stopped talking as they stared at Kamran and Callen.

Callen shook his head slowly. "The tickets are for you, your father and brother, Kam," Callen explained gently. "I'm not going with you, sweetheart, not this time."

"Actually G, if you want to come along, the invitation's open," Sam said.

"But…I don't understand…how?" Callen asked. He looked over at Hetty and suddenly he understood. He walked over to her, a hint of anger in his blue eyes. "Hetty…I know you meant well, but Sam and the kids…they might have just wanted time to themselves…I…"

He felt Sam's strong arm around his shoulders as his partner pulled him in for a hug. "Hetty gave me a choice, G," he said. "It could have been just me and the kids. I chose for you to come with us and the kids agreed. Of course, if you don't want to come, that's another matter entirely."

"It's not that, Sam…I just don't want to intrude…"

"You will have your own room at the hotel, Mr. Callen," Hetty said. "Sam, Aiden and Kamran will have plenty of time to themselves."

"You're sure?" Callen asked, gazing at his partner questioningly.

"I'm positive, G. There's no one I'd rather have with us except…" he trailed off as a look of understanding passed between the partners.

"If you change your mind…"

Sam shook his head. "I'm not going to change my mind, G."

"Okay," Callen finally nodded his assent and Kamran squealed happily. "Yay! You're coming with us?!"

"Yes, if it's okay with you and your brother." Callen looked at Aiden as he asked the question. It was obvious that Kam was onboard with the idea, but he didn't want to do anything to go against what Aiden might want. Upsetting the family any more than they already were, was not something Callen wanted any part of.

"It's cool with me," Aiden said. "You're family, Uncle Callen."

"We're going to have a lot of fun," Kamran said as she went to Callen and gave him a hug.

"I think so too," Callen said, returning her embrace.

"Hey, anybody for dessert?" Deeks called out. "We've got apple pie, chocolate cream pie and custard pie. All home made by yours truly…and really good if I do say so myself."

"Deeks really is quite the cook," Callen said as he and Sam went to get some pie.

"Yeah, you should see if he'll give you lessons," Sam said, grinning at his partner.

"Maybe I will do just that," Callen said with a smirk. "Maybe I'll surprise you one of these days by making you the best gourmet dinner you could ever imagine."

"That's some imagination you've got partner."

"It's alright, Uncle Callen," Aiden said who was digging into Deeks' chocolate cream pie with obvious enjoyment. "You don't need to know how to cook. You just need to find a good woman and make sure she can cook for you."

"Is that the kind of stuff you're teaching him?" Callen asked his partner with obvious amusement.

Sam shook his head, trying to hold back a smile. "He never learned that from me. It must be those kids at school because I'm pretty sure that's not the kind of stuff they teach there."

"Don't worry, dad," Aiden said. "I actually do know how to cook." He turned to Callen. "Maybe I could give you some pointers."

"Maybe you can, Aiden," Callen said, smiling at Sam's oldest son. The day was turning out even better than he could have hoped.

xxxxx

"Thanks Kensi, Deeks," Sam said. He and his kids, as well as Callen and Hetty were all gathered at the front door, ready to say their goodbyes. "I can't begin to tell you how much today meant to us. I really appreciate what you did."

"You mean the world to us Sam," Kensi said gazing at him emotionally.

"We just wanted you and the kids to have a good time," Deeks said.

"Well, you definitely accomplished that and much more," Sam said. He then proceeded to hug both his junior team members. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas," Kensi and Deeks echoed.

"We'll see you next year," Deeks said with a grin.

"See you next year," Sam said.

At that point, the group members headed out to where their cars were parked. When they reached the Challenger, Sam turned to Hetty, his eyes filled with emotion. "I know you had a lot to do with all of this, Hetty. I just want to say thank you…I don't know how I will ever repay you for such generosity." He had looked at some of the tickets. For the Christmas show, they were right up front and the basketball game tickets were courtside. He hadn't told his son, choosing to surprise him the night of the game.

"Repayment was never even a thought in my mind, Sam," Hetty said. "But if it's important to you, the best way you can repay me is for you and your children to have the very best time imaginable on this trip."

"We will, Hetty. I promise," said Sam.

Hetty nodded and said her goodbyes to the children who each hugged her exuberantly. She then turned to Callen. "I'll meet you in the car, Mr. Callen."

Callen nodded to her and turned to his partner. "Quite a day," he said.

"Yeah," Sam agreed. He had been emotionally up and down throughout it, but definitely more up than down and it was all because of these people who loved him and had tried so hard to make the day good for him and his family. "I…thank you, G…"

"You're welcome." Callen knew a long, drawn out conversation about what he was feeling was not what Sam needed at the moment. He needed to go home and have a peaceful night with his kids. Kensi and Deeks had given them a big basket of leftovers so they definitely wouldn't go hungry. "I'll talk to you tomorrow? We can figure out our travel plans." In all honesty, he was excited about the trip. It had been entirely unexpected, but he very much appreciated Hetty's idea to include him.

Sam nodded. "I'll call you."

The two men then embraced and Kamran and Aiden hugged Callen as well. "I'm so happy you're coming with us," Kamran reemphasized, looking up at Callen happily.

"Me too, Kam," Callen said, giving her a fond smile. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas," the Hanna family echoed as they got into their vehicle and pulled away. Callen then went over to his car where Hetty was waiting for him to drive her home and spend a little quality time together.

"Is everything all right with them?" Hetty asked, her eyes on Callen as he got behind the wheel of his car.

Callen looked at her and nodded, a smile on his face. "I think so…as well as it can be this year anyway. What you did…It means a lot to them."

"What we all did," Hetty corrected, smiling back at him. "Now let's get going, Mr. Callen. I ordered a specialty Christmas tea from overseas that is supposed to be quite extraordinary."

"Sounds good," Callen said as he pulled his car away from the curb. "Merry Christmas, Hetty."

"Merry Christmas, Mr. Callen."


End file.
